One of my favorite episodes of The Cosby Show was the one were Heathcliff and the Mrs. decide to teach Theo a lesson about survival in the real world by cleaning out his room and pretending to rent it to him, and little Rudy was the owner of the bank, refusing to give him a loan, because, as she emphatically yelled, "You got nothing!" So this was stewing on the backburner of my mind as I watched the Newlyweds show with Jessica Simpson.

It's amazing to me how this woman, if she can be called that, has survived this far. She has risen in popularity because of her stupidity. Unlike the rest of America, I don't think its cute. I think its incredibly sad that she has grown into a woman that is completely unable to care for herself, that has amassed so little life experience she is unable to tell the difference between tuna and chicken and she is unaware that buffalos don't have wings.

So I put two and two together and decided that the reality t.v.show I would love to watch is a show where Jessica Simpson is forced to get a job, find an apartment and live within a budget. It may not seem like much but all I get from watching the show is that her parents did a horrible job of making sure she had the proper survival skills to exist on her own. She can't cook, clean, or make decisions without assistance. She lives in a bubble where her parents fawned over her for her entire life and now its her poor husbands job to keep her. And she has never been more popular.

That's how America likes it's women. Silly and Helpless. When we have a truly self sufficient woman, like Martha Stewart, we can't wait to knock her down. I think she went too far when she took her company public. Here is a woman that came from nothing and became a billionaire, what nerve! She took the image of domestic perfection and pimped it out, you go girl! A lot of people like to say she put undue pressure on other woman by setting unattainable goals, but give me a break. Any woman who looked to Martha Stewart's media empire for her own self worth has bigger fish to fry. Once she took her company public she entered a place that had been previously reserved for men. She crossed the line. And so they waited for her to slip up. What did she do? She heard that her stock was going to crash and she sold. What person wouldn't? If you know someone like that, let them know that I have a bridge with a gorgeous view of Brooklyn I would like to sell them. And for the record, she was convicted of perjury for a crime she was not convicted of. In other words, she is guilty of lying about a crime she didn't commit. The papers are now filled with headlines about her having to quit her own company which she created with her own blood, sweat and tears. Take that you dirty, nasty little girl. That will teach you to know your place, in the kitchen. Period.

I don't get a kick out of Martha in prison jokes. I get disgusted. I have an immense respect with what she has created professionally. She may have been a bitch, but sometimes you have to be. I would however love to see Jessica Simpson in that reality show I proposed. Or in boot camp. With that Drill Sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. It will never happen, I know. Once Jessica Simpson becomes intelligent and independent, America will just look for a way for her to fall down. The moral of this story is you're only popular when you are non-threatening. The big question is...non-threatening to whom?

0 Comments:

Post a Comment