Today was the first day of Air America Radio and they had amazing guests, Michael Moore, Al Gore, Ben of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and the founder of True Majority. Although they are only available on a few stations nationwide, you can listen to them on their website and on satellite radio, well worth giving them a listen.

The news was filled with tales of the contractors that were killed in Fallujah, Iraq and whose bodies were dragged through the streets. Iraqis Drag 4 US Bodies Through Streets
I was horrified as I believe the nation was to see civilians treated this way. I guess it was naive of me to think that people could go to work in Iraq as Americans and be able to separate themselves from our military forces. I heard on the news that over thirty American civilians have been killed in Iraq thus far, but we haven't heard about them. We haven't heard of the dozens of soldiers that have committed suicide in Iraq or the soldiers that have "fragged" as a friend of mine told me this week, which is when a soldier snaps and tries to kill his fellow or commanding officers. It happened a lot in Vietnam also. We don't hear about those soldiers. We don't hear about the soldiers that joined the army in order to get the Montgomery G.I. Bill so they can go to college and escape poverty, we aren't allowed to know who these soldiers are as people. We only get to stand by the sidelines and wave as they march off to war.

As a civilian, maybe you go into Iraq because there is a ridiculous amount of money to be made, hazard pay is a wonderful blessing if you can come out alive, or maybe you are intent on making a difference and spreading the brilliance that is democracy. You don't expect to be killed in such a way as the contractors in Iraq. My heart goes out to their families. This is their worst nightmare realized. How many civilians, American and Iraqi, have died in this war? When will it end? Where is our president while people are dying in the streets?

W. is mocking the lack of WMD's at fundraisers. He is orchestrating the sham that is the 9/11 commission so that Condaleeza Rice will get to testify on the condition that he and Cheney get to testify off the records and behind closed doors. (Can you feel the noose around your neck Condy as they hang you out to dry? I guess that PhD is really paying off now!)Tag Team testimony from Bush-Cheney will Limit Divergent Answers

Our president is sitting back as the Islamic fundamentalist movement is uniting in their hatred for our imperialism. He is sitting back, shaking a disapproving finger at OPEC while they cut back on oil production and does absolutely nothing while we may be heading for a potential oil crisis. OPEC to Cut Oil Output Despite Demand

My heart is with all of the people- American, Iraqi, British, Polish- and their families that are praying for safety and a way out of this mess in a peaceful way. Finally, there is someone else calling for the president's impeachment, its not just me! (You can read through the archives for my feelings on impeaching the president) and you can click here for this great essay Impeachable Offenses

I received a great letter from a reader yesterday. His name was Lopez and he told me to write about the wonders of soccer and not to forget about its healing powers. You see, Lopez was in Kigali after what he called 'a nasty civil war' and he noticed how much the women there loved to play soccer. I thought this was incredibly poignant for several reasons. First, for those of you who aren't up on geography and world history, Kigali is the capital of Rwanda, where in 1994 "the Hutu majority of Rwanda murdered an estimated 800,000 of their Tutsi countrymen--a rate of killing that was faster than the Nazis." For more information on how the US and UN stood by and did nothing, even refusing to call it genocide so they wouldn't have to get involved: Frontline: The Triumph of Evil
Secondly, team sports are not historically taught to women. Look at our present day array of sports that are available to women and compare them in popularity and economically to male sports. See the difference? The ability of a country of people that have been let down ( a gross understatement on my part) by their global teammates to reinforce the notion of unity through team sports, even on a backyard level, is profound. The fact that they were women playing shows you that women are the heart and soul of a culture, we are its purveyors, and if we can teach the lessons to our daughters that soccer inspires - unity, endurance, strength, and the desire to succeed- then there is hope for this world. Lastly, playing soccer is evidence that there is still a fire in the ashes. When you can stand among the bodies of your family and neighbors and reject it as your reality and take control of your own existence by infusing it with levity, with playfulness, with happiness, with positivity, with your own spirit, when you can refuse your oppressors; those girls are my heroes! To be able to fight against your own sorrow and fear is a strength I hope is present in my own spirit and in all of our souls! Thanks for the letter, Lopez!

Do you ever get to the point where you say, but what can I do to change this world and make it a better place? Well here is another inspiring person, Kiyoshi Amemiya.
Japanese businessman builds own machine to make world landmine-free
Kiyoshi saw the atrocities of Cambodia and what land-mines were doing to the women and children of that nation and he used what resources he had as the owner of a construction machinery distribution company to create an "anti-personnel landmine disposal machine" which basically means the machine can locate and destroy landmines. He has used them for Cambodia,Thailand, Vietnam, Nicaragua, and Afghanistan, and they are distributed through the United Nations. What makes it even more wonderful is he has decided to NOT sell to governments for military purposes, (can you imagine how they would sit on this technology or use it for their own purposes in a war?) simply because "I have no business with the military," he said. Mr. Amemiya, I thank you for your generosity and compassion. The people of all of these countries that suffer under the threat of landmines thank you and I applaud your decision to keep your invention on a humanitarian level and not sell to any military agencies. You have inspired me to search into my own life for ways in which I can make a difference and I know, as people read about you, they will reflect upon their own lives as well.

One person can make a difference!

It's been a few days since my last posting because I needed some time to gather my thoughts. I was deeply troubled by an article I read in the New York Daily News on Friday. I was walking home, it was beautiful out, and I opened the newspaper to an article that showed a smirking George W. Bush on the floor, searching for something underneath a chair. That was a picture of W. mocking the nation and also the world. See for yourself another article at CNN.com:
Bush's WMD jokes draw criticism

I couldn't walk for a few moments. I just stood on the busy street with my hand outstretched to the sky in disbelief. After I recovered, I came home and turned on the television. The president refused to testify for the 9/11 committee and Condaleeza Rice refuses to go on the record. Rice Asserts She Can't Testify
What is the point of testifying off the record? You do that on the television news, in interviews, what are you so afraid of? This administration is looking more and more guilty to the WORLD and I would love to be happy and to say, now is where the tides turn, but they aren't scared. They have that much arrogance that they can allow themselves to look as if they have done something criminal, something to be ashamed of, by virtue of not testifying and its all good. What does that tell us? That there is more to come. That there can be as many committees and panels and investigations as we want to get to the truth but really, in our hearts, we know the truth. And the truth doesn't matter. That's why it is possible for W. to make fun of not finding WMD's at a fund raiser. Because he feels he is untouchable. They, the Corporate Capitalist Crusaders, as I like to call them, if I may be so bold as to talk in comic book language as our president does, they have rigged the country in a way so that we can organize and protest and vote, but what does it really amount to? Unless we have a unified public that says NO MORE! They can continue to pander to those who donate to their re-election. Imagine it, coming soon to a headline near you: US Invades Thailand! It could happen. According to this article from the Manila Times (an article similar to this was on Yahoo but mysteriously disappeared):

A question on the National Republican Congressional Committee's Ask America 2004 Nationwide Policy Survey asks: "Should America broaden the war on terrorism into other countries that harbor terrorists such as Thailand, Somalia, the Philippines, etc.?"
Accompanying the committee's survey, which also poses questions about health care, the economy and other issues, was a four-page letter signed by House Speaker Dennis Hastert, a Republican, that seeks money to help "keep the Republican Party in control of the US House."

You can read the entire thing at RP, Thailand Blast Terror Tag

So just imagine a world where the rich, those that can afford to pay handsomely to the Republicans, can wage war on any country of their choosing! That was pretty brilliant to hand out a questionnaire to your target demographic so you know where the high rollers stand on important issues, allowing you to plan your malicious and deceptive deeds accordingly! Right On!

The truth comes out at these fundraisers, folks. Its a place where W. can be the real W. and make fun of the war he created with lies, bullying, and manipulation. Its funny to think of the billions we have spent on this war while people are unemployed and disenfranchised and American society is rotting FROM the core.
It's hilarious to make fun while elections are being rigged, futures being sealed, and families are kissing their loved ones goodbye for what might be the last time. It's funny if you are George W. Bush.

Well, Mr. President, I would like to introduce you to 692 people that aren't laughing. US/Coalition Casualties That is not to mention their families, the 3,383 soldiers that were injured and have to live the rest of their lives without limbs, hearing, etc. and with post-traumatic stress, and the families of those soldiers that are forced to see their husbands and wives, their children, come back as different, shells of the people they used to be. Also, the victims and their families of 9/11 who had their deaths used as tool of manipulation for war and now, re-election. And the millions of other citizens of this country who aren't laughing. The time has come for you to explain yourself and we are waiting.

I am trying to understand George Tenet, the man in charge of the CIA. I am reading an article on Yahoo regarding the 9/11 hearings Ex-Advisor:Terrorism not urgent for Bush, and it has come out that there was some confusion regarding the orders that President Clinton gave authorizing the killing of bin Laden. Ho Hum. Strange how we are having these intelligence problems and now it comes out that the CIA had the okay from the Clinton administration to begin to handle this problem and they sat on their asses? Am I the only one that feels like we are living in bizarro world? Why, oh why is this man still head of the CIA? He has exposed himself as an incompetent buffoon regardless of what administration he works for. Maybe it was that much easier for the Bush people to twist his intelligence reports because he is a dullard. He has stated they twisted the CIA intelligence and my question is, why is he only saying it now that there is an investigation? Where was he before we started to invade Iraq, before hundreds of soldiers gave their lives to an unjust cause, before the Top Gun public relations disgrace that had our president flying onto an aircraft carrier and reliving moments he never actually experienced before? Where was he then? If he has been sitting with his thumb up his butt all of this time then this country should be demanding his resignation!

It is apparent from Clarke's testimony, and the testimony of others, that the Bush Administration was intent on searching for a reason to bomb Iraq. As Donald Rumsfeld put it, "There are good targets in Iraq." This administration is so shady. I am tired of procedure! I am tired of hearings that will eventually be delayed because Condaleeza and W. don't want to testify to their ignorance and/or malicious intentions. The minute that the Enron scandal broke, and the Halliburton-Bush connection to the Enron debacle, his candidacy should have been questioned. It wasn't, people are busy and apathetic to what happens. I totally understand. What gets me is the constant lying, outright lying that this administration is doing and we are sitting back waiting for this next election. The election means nothing! They screwed one election, they can do it again! It wasn't that hard and now with new voting technology it will be that much easier. No hanging chads, just the dedication of a republican with a technology firm that campaigns on behalf of Bush.

Every day, I am going to post one more Bush Lie. Here is an article from commondreams.org. that won't shock you, because aren't we used to the lying?, but it might motivate you to do something. Anything. Feel free to write me with more evidence of Bush Lies and/or ways in which you and I can make a difference.
Bush Medicare Report Misleads; 'Bush Administration Simply Changed the Numbers,' Says Co-Director of Campaign for Americas Future

Also, keep your letters, thoughts and opinions on my blog coming. If you give permission, I might publish it here.

I watched Oprah today. She had a segment on the polygamy disaster that is Colorado City, Arizona.

Check out this link for an interesting history of this town.
Colorado City

Forget gay people, how the fuck can men in this town have 100's of children and 37 wives? Plus they marry these women when they are 15? That is abominable. Oprah said in between footage of Amish-looking men and women and children walking hand in hand, "Scary. Like the Taliban is it not?" I am not sure the Taliban has a polygamy problem. What really pisses me off is the drain on the welfare system as these men use their perverted religion to get laid with innocent young girls. But they are straight, right? So they can do whatever the fuck they want! This government stands aside while young girls are abused and smuggled from Canada so that there is not rampant inbreeding. If this was religious based, there would be no way that they would need to worry about inbreeding. Wouldn't that be considered "God's Will"? The amount of calculation that goes in to maintaining this cult proves that there is a perversion there.

Reasons why it bothers me:

-There is no equality. Why can't Women have multiple husbands? Why is it always the man that gets to have multiple sexual partners, a bunch of kids that he doesn't have to do the work of caring for, and being able to secure his place in heaven by polygamy. Does a woman not have the opportunity to go to heaven?

- I am the most liberal person I know. But these are children. Their education is cut off at 10th grade if they get it, there is no connection to the outside world, these marriages are arranged before they can even understand what it means to be a woman, to understand sexuality. All of a sudden a MUCH OLDER man is fucking them and they are having children.

Maybe we should spend billions of dollars targeting these sick mother fuckers instead of denying nice homosexual couples that have been together for 40 years a chance to marry. If the Christian Right believes homosexuality is a choice (which is disputable) then Mormon Fundamentalism most certainly is a choice as well. I know religion is a hot topic people don't really want to discuss. But this is my theory, if you are involved in a religion where you have to hurt children or animals, or deny a person (woman) her civil rights, then it's wrong! Go ask Jesus, he will tell you! Isn't polygamy illegal? Why aren't these sick child molesters in jail? What someone needs to do is Get these women a t.v. set and make them watch episode after episode of Oprah and the discovery channel. Get them a copy of Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own .There is an entire universe out there. I'm for liberating the whole town, who's coming with me?

I watched Oprah today. She had a segment on the polygamy disaster that is Colorado City, Arizona.

Check out this link for an interesting history of this town.
Colorado City

I almost didn't know what to write today. I have been so busy with school and my leg is killing me. I think I have arthritis because it hurts every time the weather drops below forty degrees. I was in class tonight, cultural anthropology, and we watched Paris is Burning a documentary on the whole ball-vogue-gay scene in the 1980's. It was sad and beautiful and funny and made me think how these men are so representative of the human condition. The need for approval and love and family and the desire for prestige and status. I was actually a bit jealous of them, they created families where there was nothing, just loneliness. They took the image of masculinity that was being forced on them and empowered themselves by competing on who could not only pass as a woman, but competing on who could be the best. It is so rare that in this world of disconnection and distance we are able to find people that we can relate to and that accept us for who we are. These men, who complain about not having money or power, of not having fame and fortune, have it all. Love.

Margaret Cho has a really great, informative website that she has dedicated to love. Its called
Love is Love is Love click here. It has a lot of information on gay marriage and stuff. I have to get some rest, so I apologize if tonight's posting is short. Take whatever time was spared to read this to be thankful for whatever love you are receiving. If you aren't then think about how you can open yourself up to love. Its like in Field of Dreams, "if you build it, they will come."

I don't know what John Kerry stands for. I know what he doesn't stand for: four more years of Bush. The actual issues that he feels strongly about, I have no idea. He seems like a nice guy, but I don't have a feel for who he is as a person. President Bush is pretty straight forward. We know who he supports, special interest, corporate, Christian, white men who are very, very rich. Ralph Nader is extremely straightforward about what he believes in, protecting the environment and the little people like us. But Kerry has pretty much been riding the coat tails of the Anti-Bush/Anti-War movement. Howard Dean had an innovative, grassroots campaign and as soon as he showed a little enthusiasm, we as a nation got very uncomfortable. I want Kerry to win, I feel he has military experience which serves a purpose, I suppose, in at least giving him the knowledge of how to deal with military types. I want an end to the Bush administration. But that is not enough for me to fully stand behind this candidate.

I am looking for a Ghandi/Martin Luther King type of president. One that will be radical and think out of the political-polling box. Stop selling me a product, what you think I might want based on the opinions of people that answer your surveys. These are lonely people that are looking for a friend. What they really want is a hug but instead they will tell you that they want a president that will cut taxes and strengthen the institution of marriage by denying homosexuals the right to marry. Why should there be more happiness in the world when they have nothing but telemarketers, door to door Jehovah's witnesses, and political surveys to look forward to?

I want a president that is spiritual, but not religious in the sense that his god is better than any other god. I want him to have deep, unwavering moral convictions. He knows compassion and understands suffering so he views the position of President of the United States as a means of alleviating the pain and suffering of his nation and also other nations. I want a president that will care about the healthcare of all people. There should be a national program of free healthcare, I don't care what anyone tells me. A country as rich as ours that has half-assed social service programs is revolting. Social service programs such as welfare and medical programs should be uplifting people not trapping them in the system. How many times have you heard someone complain that "the people that really need the help don't get it"? There needs to be less paper work, less red tape. If a battered woman wants to take a computer class so that she can get a job to support her children and she can't afford childcare or whatever else is standing in her way from breaking free of violence, for the love of god, give it to her. Don't tell her she needs to get a job first, or she needs to verify income, or she needs to have a home address even if she is living in a temporary homeless shelter. Its all bullshit. Its a free pass to turn the other cheek.

I want a president that is creative and can think of alternatives to war. When was the last time that happened? I want a president that understands fighting fire with fire will burn us all, and the war on terrorism is the equivalent to spitting in the wind. What if we took all of that money and spent it on caring for people? How many people could we win over to a democratic idealogy if we showed them democracy does not mean invading another country and bombing the crap out of it, injurying or killing children (because they might be terrorists setting you up for an ambush, one soldier told me) and leaving them with no food, work, hospitals, just trauma day in and day out. What if we started to reestablish schools and hospitals. We might help people in finding jobs with all of the foreign countries that have "contracts" in their lands instead of bringing in their own workers. This is a newsflash for those that don't know it: The Middle East has an educated population. They are not all cabdrivers.

I want a president that has cultural sensitivity. Please do not call Jesus the one true god of a democracy, for example, the USA. Raise your hand if you felt a shiver of fear through your body during Bush's inauguration. Understand that just as there are many sects of Christianity and Judaism, there are many different types of Muslim people as well. And although they don't get as much media attention, there are Buddhists, Zorastrians, Sikhs, Pagans, Atheists, etc.. that live here too.They don't like it when they are excluded so its better to just keep religion out of all political discourse.

I want a president that knows what its like to be dirt poor and make Tang sandwiches so that your children have something to eat. Granted, Roosevelt was never poor and he got us out of the depression, but I don't really have faith that they make 'em like Roosevelt anymore. if you can understand true poverty, you will know how important maintaining and generating jobs in this country is. You will work hard at making sure workers get proper benefits and work conditions. You will work even harder at wooing corporations to bring work back to the States in addition to trying to stop outsourcing to foreign countries. Even if that means you might lose a few campaign donations and golfing buddies.

Finally, I want a president that doesn't speak like he has been watching the cartoon network. Lines like "Axis of Evil" and "Evildoers" makes me think that Bush is wearing tights under his suit and carries a cape in his briefcase. I cannot respect someone that throws around the term 'evil' so lightly because evil is really all about perspective. Tricking us into a senseless war might be considered evil by some, roadside bombs created by people that are trying to defend their homeland might be considered evil by others. Only time will tell who will win and get to write history. To me, evil is a relative concept. Unless we are all putting down weapons and working towards peace we are just fueling the fire.

My faith in peace as an attainable goal waivers sometimes. There are so many people that don't see the agony of others, how do you explain to them what's going on? How do you help them understand? If anyone has any ideas, please write me and let me know. I guess that being able to lead people towards a better tomorrow is the mark of a true leader, such as Ghandi or Martin Luther King, Jr. Finding peaceful ways of changing the social structure, giving people hope and faith that they can make a difference and that a better day is around the corner is a gift. A blessing from whatever powers of the Universe one might believe in. Who will be that leader for the American people?

There are days like today I wish that I knew more about the law. I see Martha Stewart going to jail for lying about a crime she legally did not commit, I see Tyco and WorldCom and Enron (Oh, my!) and then I see our president lying about WMDs along with the rest of his administration and I wonder why he is not being charged with a crime. Is there no law against all that he has done? He is bankrupting our country and using the events of September 11th to launch a capitalist crusade. Why is the FBI not going after him the way they went after Martha Stewart? Simply put, she is a woman. We are still waiting for all of the executives of corporate scandals past to be tried and convicted and that happened years ago. The president may never be forced to face the music. Meanwhile, people are dying. It's that simple. We are in more danger now then we ever were. Why you ask?


1. The Bush Administration is trying to re-write history. Apparently they think the public has a short term memory problem. We are too lazy to do our homework, like pick up a paper or watch past speeches and question them on it. Check out Donald Rumsfeld in a highlight of his career, right up there with pictures of him shaking hands with Saddam Hussein from eons ago.
Donald Rumsfeld Caught on Video.

2. The Bush Administration is blatantly trying to fool the public by sending out false newsreports to the media regarding Medicare with ACTORS playing reporters and other roles. Say it with me, PROPAGANDA. Check this article out to read more US Government Faked Bush News Reports.


3. I think we all know the environment is being raped, schools are constantly leaving children behind, and unemployment is soaring, despite the "optimistic" reports I keep hearing about. Oh, and our President supports millions of jobs being outsourced to other countries. Nice, right?
Powell Admits Bush Supports Outsourcing. Apparently, Bush has "deployed" Powell to assure the Indian Government that he will not try to halt outsourcing. And some of the major companies that are supporting his campaign will be participating in this endeavor. I would now like to take a moment to tell Colin Powell something. I am very disappointed in you. You know you were better than this and they fucked you like you were fresh meat on Oz. They are screwing up all of the hardwork that you did to earn respect and a reputation of integrity. It's not too late to come clean.

4. Spain wants to pull out of Iraq. I don't blame any country for wanting to pull their troops out because they were lied to just like us. What scares me is the domino effect that the pulling out of Spanish troops will have. Poland has said they were lied to and they are "considering" pulling out of Iraq. Poland is one of our key allies along side Britain. If Poland pulls out, then our other allies may pull out, Blair might buckle under public pressure and we are left to clean up the mess we made. Which seems fair, except I think of the financial burden it would put on this country (more than it has already) besides having to provide more soldiers then we have already (might we draft?) and ultimately more deaths on our hands. It truly will be a Vietnam for the 21st Century.
Poland Misled on Iraq, President Says

5. Everyone hates us. We are an island unto ourselves and there is growing hostility in the countries that are our allies as well as in countries that we have oppressed. We have lost credibility in the global community and it is a dangerous path we are forging where we have turned sympathy for September 11th into lies and manipulation in order to dominate and tear through countries that just happen to have large oil reserves. Before there was an Osama bin Laden, he was our ally. Remember that. We abandoned him and his people after training them to fight our battles and then we left them to starve. May that be a lesson to us on how we treat our allies. History often repeats itself and terrorism breads terrorism. Think of that next time you turn on your television and see children with their legs blown off and mothers crying because there children are dead or starving, and their husbands have been dragged off and they don't know if they will ever see them again. Think of that the next time you hear about the coups in Haiti that we are financing in order to kick out a president that was legally voted in. Now we are asking them to turn in their weapons, the only thing that made them feel safe, and we are offering no reassurance or incentive. You know who is? The French. Their troops are working with the existing police to talk to "gang leaders" and using military doctors to staff clinics. Not such a bad idea from a country that wouldn't back our fake war. Maybe its time to stop calling french fries freedom fries. Haitians Hesitant to Surrender Weapons

The world is a different place now. In one administration, our lives have been challenged in a way that I didn't think was possible. We see the great power that the United States has and realize the old saying, "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility." The Bush Administration misused that power, they violated the people of this country at a vulnerable time when a stronger president with no ulterior motives might have brought us together as a nation and then unite the global community by renouncing violence, not waging war. I still believe that is possible. It is a dream worth fighting for. It is worth seeking justice and making sure justice is served by censuring and impeaching our president. Let him leave with the shame that he has brought on our country, our military, and our dead.

Very Important Story in the News Today:
Chanukah-By Mel

Apparently now that Mel Gibson has immortalized Jesus on film (because that guy really needed the press for his career) he wants to bring the heartwarming Jewish tale of Chanukah to the big screen. The funnies part of this article is when the "Anti-Defamation League Executive Director Abe Foxman told the Orlando Sentinel recently that if Gibson dramatizes the rebellion, "we'll lose.""

I am not fearful that the Jews will come off badly in this film because then Mel would have to rewrite the bible and I think its a little too soon for the public to accept the King Mel version of the bible. What I fear is that he will make the story of the Maccabees look like Saving Private Ryan. After The Passion of the Christ focused so intently on the violence and suffering of the last hours of Jesus, not on his message, not leaving the viewers with any redeeming notion accept that humanity is and always has been cruel, I wonder if Mr. Gibson is capable of showing the inspiring tale of faith that Chanukah represents. Mel has said "The Maccabees family stood up, and they made war, they stuck by their guns, and they came out winning," he continued. "It's like a Western." Around the world I think Rabbis are getting ulcers and they don't know why. It is apparent in that quote that he already is focusing on the war and violence, not on the meaning of the holiday, the miracle of the oil lasting eight days or the sacrifice that the Maccabees made.

Or you could speculate that Mel is doing this to make up for the way the Jews are portrayed in The Passion. That was one of the first things that came to mind when I read this article. Either way, Mel's vision of biblical events is a violent one and I believe he misses the point of it all. By focusing on the literal, he misses the dramatic moral and spiritual themes.

There is another really great article that asks what Jesus would say if he saw The Passion of the Christ. No Time for Christian Tenets in 'Passion'. If he makes a movie about Chanukah there will be serious repercussions if he disrespects a story that has such great importance to Jews. I don't know how the Jewish people will feel about an accused anti-Semite making a film about Chanukah. That's like asking an accused Klansman to make a movie about Martin Luther King, Jr. and then expecting African-Americans to be okay with his interpretation of events.

Moreover, if you are going to make a film about a bible event or person, please show what these people stood for. There is no sense in showing the fight and suffering if you don't explain what the fight was for. If you don't show what the actual "passion" of these people is, then all that passion was for nothing. The message is lost, and wasn't that what the good book was for? To pass the message on and inspire people?

One of my favorite episodes of The Cosby Show was the one were Heathcliff and the Mrs. decide to teach Theo a lesson about survival in the real world by cleaning out his room and pretending to rent it to him, and little Rudy was the owner of the bank, refusing to give him a loan, because, as she emphatically yelled, "You got nothing!" So this was stewing on the backburner of my mind as I watched the Newlyweds show with Jessica Simpson.

It's amazing to me how this woman, if she can be called that, has survived this far. She has risen in popularity because of her stupidity. Unlike the rest of America, I don't think its cute. I think its incredibly sad that she has grown into a woman that is completely unable to care for herself, that has amassed so little life experience she is unable to tell the difference between tuna and chicken and she is unaware that buffalos don't have wings.

So I put two and two together and decided that the reality t.v.show I would love to watch is a show where Jessica Simpson is forced to get a job, find an apartment and live within a budget. It may not seem like much but all I get from watching the show is that her parents did a horrible job of making sure she had the proper survival skills to exist on her own. She can't cook, clean, or make decisions without assistance. She lives in a bubble where her parents fawned over her for her entire life and now its her poor husbands job to keep her. And she has never been more popular.

That's how America likes it's women. Silly and Helpless. When we have a truly self sufficient woman, like Martha Stewart, we can't wait to knock her down. I think she went too far when she took her company public. Here is a woman that came from nothing and became a billionaire, what nerve! She took the image of domestic perfection and pimped it out, you go girl! A lot of people like to say she put undue pressure on other woman by setting unattainable goals, but give me a break. Any woman who looked to Martha Stewart's media empire for her own self worth has bigger fish to fry. Once she took her company public she entered a place that had been previously reserved for men. She crossed the line. And so they waited for her to slip up. What did she do? She heard that her stock was going to crash and she sold. What person wouldn't? If you know someone like that, let them know that I have a bridge with a gorgeous view of Brooklyn I would like to sell them. And for the record, she was convicted of perjury for a crime she was not convicted of. In other words, she is guilty of lying about a crime she didn't commit. The papers are now filled with headlines about her having to quit her own company which she created with her own blood, sweat and tears. Take that you dirty, nasty little girl. That will teach you to know your place, in the kitchen. Period.

I don't get a kick out of Martha in prison jokes. I get disgusted. I have an immense respect with what she has created professionally. She may have been a bitch, but sometimes you have to be. I would however love to see Jessica Simpson in that reality show I proposed. Or in boot camp. With that Drill Sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. It will never happen, I know. Once Jessica Simpson becomes intelligent and independent, America will just look for a way for her to fall down. The moral of this story is you're only popular when you are non-threatening. The big question is...non-threatening to whom?

I have launched my own battle against a vile cell of terrorism called ovarian cysts. I call this OPERATION PUNNANI FREEDOM. Despite the fear of Birth Control that I have been harboring for some time, I have decided to do my part. If I continue to live with ovulation pain, then the terrorcysts have won. So my fellow Americans, I have just one question for you...

Why the fuck can't they invent a birth control product for women that doesn't have blood clots, nausea, mood swings, etc. As a possible side effect? Why, after at least a gillion years of studies and doctors handing out little compacts containing tiny color coded pills, are there still so many side effects? Is it because its for women and we are often over looked in terms of medical research? Why are our bodies constantly forgotten?

Lets take a look at the male version of birth control. Are there any side effects? Hell no. Slight weight gain, maybe, but really fat boys, you needed to get your butts off the couch anyway. Put the game boy down! If you want to read an interesting link on the Male Pill, click here.
It states clear and simple:

"In clinical trials, no major side effects were noted aside from weight gain in a small percentage of men, similar to what most women experience when on the pill. But this pales in comparison to the more serious complications women expose themselves to when taking the pill, such as blood clotting, nausea, headaches, and dizziness. However, we must wait for the results of the current study in order to be certain that there are no other side effects."

Heart Disease is also a major killer of woman, but it was only recently that this disease was being publicized. There are also several types of cancers other than breast cancer that woman need to be made aware of such as colorectal. Think of Katie Couric. She is doing her part by getting a colonoscopy on the Today Show.

Do you know if your doctor is knowledgeable to the ailments that plague your gender? How can you be sure? I always feel better with a woman doctor. I have very rarely felt like I wasn't getting their complete attention and that they were giving me a generic, one sex fits all analysis of my complaints.

Then if you are a minority, or low-income, that is a whole other issue. Your healthcare provider has to take into account other sets of circumstances. You have to find a doctor who is sensitive to your gender, culture, and your ethnicity. Certain diseases such as sickle cell anemia are prevalent in African-Americans. Asian people are often lactose intolerant. If you eat Ben & Jerry's every day and wonder why your tummy hurts, your doctor should be able to deduce your condition. If you are a low-income woman, then your doctor needs to be made aware of your diet- fast food is cheap and is killing millions of poor people even if the government doesn't feel the need to force the fast food industry to take responsibility for the waste they are feeding us. A lot of times poor diets revolve around stuff that is cheap and can be cooked quickly. That means salt and preservatives. Also your doctor needs to know if you live in an apartment that was cheap and the landlord doesn't fix the heat so you are frozen all of the time, doesn't fix the leak in the ceiling so you have a weird mold growing and you wonder why you have all of a sudden developed symptoms of asthma, or if you live in a factory/urban area, where I have noticed, the produce in the supermarket is never fresh and the meats are always out past their expiration date. Your doctor can check your for diseases/conditions that occur do to those situations.

What is important is that you know you have a doctor that is aware that he or she NEEDS to know this information in order to treat you correctly. If you have a doctor that brushes off your questions or requests to consider your lifestyle, then its time for a new doctor. Be adamant about it. You can change the healthcare system if you force people to listen to your voice! Do it! In the name of Operation Punnani Freedom. Your country thanks you.

Today I had an argument with someone and I found myself in a moment of clarity. I was arguing about what this person wasn't doing for me, how I fucking hate New York because I can't walk a block without my lungs hurting from smokers, the cold, and shit that I am forced to breathe while in the subway. (Ride the subway and then blow your nose, you will see what I mean), I was pissed at how I couldn't just live the life that I want to live and I was blaming this person, who does act selfishly and lacks respect for others in a nutty professor kind of way. Then I realized I was totally projecting everything I hated about myself onto him. I was highlighting all the qualities that he had that drove me crazy and I realized all of these things were present in me.

I started to think why I didn't just get up and do what I need to do for myself. Why I let myself fall into the trap as seen on Oprah of putting others first in order to not take responsibility for my own life in order to most certainly promise myself that I will have the moment that I dread where I am 40 and wake up hysterically crying in my sleep because I have wasted my life. I have become a bitter, miserable mess of a woman that is emotionally, financially, and spiritually dependent on everyone around her in order to feel some kind of fulfillment or self worth. I will be angry all of the time and everyone I come in contact with will hate me or at least feel slightly dirty from all of the negative vibes that I exude.

The truth is I have built a cage for myself. I could probably blame society for telling me what I should be, for setting unequivocally high expectations which I can never achieve. But that only gets you so far. Once you realize the fucked-upedness of society you are on your own. It's up to you to take the wheel and handle your business. I built a cage of negative thought patterns and excuses and now, even if the cage door swung open, I doubt I would fly away. Where would I go? What would I do? The thought of soaring through the skies solo is a beautiful dream, but in reality it is way too scary. I could fail, but worse, I could succeed. And then what? That would disappoint a lot of people and I would never hear the end of it. I have this neat little negative cocoon built around me, filled with the voices of people that stand around and wait to knock me down to size. I could break through that barrier and tell my cocoon to go fuck itself, but like any addictive force they keep me from really having to try. Its a reciprocal arrangement. They feed me and I feed them. And nobody is every truly satisfied.

What if there is no "over the rainbow" just more rain clouds? Do you settle for the storms you know or charter new waters and hope for the best?

I was incredibly saddened to hear of the train bombings in Spain that killed 199 people. As a New Yorker, I know that raw feeling after blinding violence. As a citizen of the global community, I join them in mourning. I was even more moved at the 2.3 million people that marched on Madrid, their president leading them, to show solidarity as a nation for the families of the victims , to "reject violence" and to promote the notion of peace.

It will be interesting to see how their government reacts in the coming months to this horrible terrorist attack. The president has vowed to catch the terrorists responsible for this bombing, but it will be interesting to me to see to what lengths he is willing to go to avenge his nation, given the precedent that the USA has set with our war on terrorism. If the culprit is say, France, and Canada is presumed to be a friend and aid to France, does he launch a preemptive strike on Canada? Does he decide to invade France and give them a new government that promotes freedom and a government structured the way Spain decides is best?

Or will this leader find a way to keep his country together, in this provoked unity, and find a way to get justice in a peaceful manner? Is that possible? Does violence have to beget violence? I say it doesn't. I say there is a way to bring those responsible to justice without upping the stakes and calling for more bloodshed from innocent people. Seeing the 2.3 million people of Spain marching for peace gives me hope that there are people in the world that get that too. Hopefully they can set a precedent of dealing with terrorism without promoting terrorism.

If you want to read more, Millions in Madrid Protest Train Attacks

I read my horoscope as I do every week at www.freewillastrology.com and it had this to say about me:

You still have a chance to avoid that pyrrhic victory you're spiraling towards. For those of you without a dictionary nearby, a "pyrrhic victory" is defined as a costly triumph, useless advantage, or empty success. What's your best bet for avoiding it? First, start thinking of what your soul needs rather than what your ego craves. Second, forget about trying to provide balance to a distorted situation that's too fixed to be influenced. Third, become aware of how your focus on what you dislike is reinforcing what you dislike.

I started to think about my posting yesterday where I said that anyone with oppressive views wasn't welcome at my table. I hate to admit it, but I was wrong. I think when women find their voice, when they finally get the courage to speak up and not take the crap that is shoved down our throats every day on how we should behave, look, smell, and live our lives we start screaming. We refuse to have our voice suppressed any further. The thing that I realized was that after awhile you become what you hate most. As Rob from Free Will Astrology said, "what you dislike is reinforcing what you dislike." I became this angry person who refused to hear an opposing point of view because the stakes were too high. But the Religious Right could say the same thing, could they not? They could say the stakes are too high, our society is at stake, and under no circumstances am I willing to give up my religious belief to cater to a lifestyle someone CHOSE.

They, of course, have the right to think that way. They could refuse to hear me and not invite me to discuss my point of views on allowing gays and lesbians to marry. It wouldn't be right. (No pun intended) I wouldn't want to have someone shut me down and refuse to hear me. So, I am going to change my position. I am going to invite opposing viewpoints to my table. I am going to ask them why over and over again until I understand where the roots of their beliefs are. (I think its fear, but they could surprise me.) I am going to try to understand them. They may even surprise themselves and find they don't really know why they feel the way they do, they have been taught to feel a certain way and that's all they know. Maybe by saying it out loud they can become more aware of themselves and maybe exposure to my viewpoint might open their minds a bit.

As my horoscope said, "think of what your soul needs, not what your ego craves." Sure I would like to win the great debate, to have the power to tell someone that offends me to stick it where the sun doesn't shine and not bother me with their oppressive views. But what my soul needs is peace and understanding. My soul, and everyone else's I think, needs to start coming together with other souls and healing some of this pain. It's breaking us down, fighting all the time. That's what's tearing this society apart. Not gay marriage, but the fighting over gay marriage. The hatred and fear of those that don't conform.

We may never live in a fair and balanced society. Life ebbs and flows. I get that. I think that keeping an open heart and having good intentions by allowing a place for everyone to speak is a step in the right direction. And like Mohatma Ghandi said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

I listened to Howard Stern on the Radio for two days in a row. I don't usually listen to his show, after a while all that sex and bodily functions wears on me. And his show is on earlier than I wake up. But I listened because of all of the hoopla over ClearChannel pulling him from the airwaves in several states. I was happy they did! I was happy that the FCC made such a big deal over Janet's bedazzled boob flashing the nation! For the record I had more problem with Justin Timberlake ripping Janets clothes off in such a violent-"I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song" way than I did with Janet's flesh.

I think this is the best thing that could have happened to the fight against Bush's re-election. Howard Stern has devoted a large part of his show since the incident to discussion about Bush politics and their administration of evil. This is the best publicity we could have hoped for. I listened to countless people call up and say they have never voted before but they were registering to vote against W.

There is an interesting link that discusses the incident that I think reiterates what I have said.

Culture War May Find WMD's

I really want to have a dialogue with people that are for the Bush Administration, that are against the Federal Marriage Amendment, that have a different point of view than mine. I try to keep open minded and allow other voices to be heard. But you know what? There is a time for politeness and this is not it. When something so important is at stake - HUMAN RIGHTS- I cannot tolerate a hateful, suppressive position. If I step on your toes and don't allow you to speak its because you don't get the chance to spread hate as I sit idly by. If this was just about campaign finance reform or budget cuts to libraries then we could sit down and have a nice debate. However on this subject, if you are about keeping other people down, you are not welcome at my table.

John Ashcroft is having his gallbladder removed. I am a firm believer in karma and for all those non-believers, here is your proof. How can this be proof, you ask?

The gallbladder's main function is to secrete bile that is produced by the liver. Apparently Ashcroft has grown some gallstones which block the secreted fluids from entering the small intestine. I see lots of irony here. A man that produces so much bile into the American community, so much vile hatred and fear, is now overcome with bile in his own body. A side effect from gallstone removal is recurrent diarrhea. Isn't it fitting that a man with acidic politics will be forced to succumb to his own acidic waste for the rest of his life?

To read an article on Poor Johnny's health, go here:
Ashcroft To Have Gallbladder Removed

This is just more proof to me that how you live your life will kill you. Lets look at another example, shall we?

Dick Cheney has a heart condition. It is well publicized that he has had quadruple bypass surgery and currently sports a pacemaker. That is because Cheney is an inhumane and greedy man. He has done such evil in his lifetime his heart couldn't continue to function so they had to put a pacemaker in so he could keep up his evil deeds. His heart, the symbol for the human soul, refused to work in a body (man) that cruel.

Finally, I give you Bush Senior. The man's skin is melting. His face looks like it is literally falling off. He has a skin condition called "sun-induced Keratoses" which is not cancer, but plain, old skin damage. My theory is that the man is so two-faced, as punishment for playing both sides in the Gulf War (amongst countless other backstabbing and offensive political maneuvers) W's Daddy's fake face is falling off so that we can see the true monster underneath.

Lets' recap: Be nice and be honest. If you are faking it, trying to be sweet to everyone and you don't really mean it, you might get cavities and your teeth will fall out AND/OR you will get diabetes. You need only look at the medical history of Republicans to see what your fate could be if you don't live a truthful, compassionate life.

I remember on 9/11, I went to vote. My husband drove me before work to the basement in an apartment building where the assembly of retired women gave me instructions and offered me donuts. Moose was going to be late as usual and we argued in McDonalds while having breakfast afterwards. I don't remember now what it was about. He dropped me off at home and just as I was about to get out of the van, the radio said that a plane had crashed into the WTC. I thought nothing of it really, a testament to how jaded I had become to human suffering. I thought maybe it was pilot error, or something wrong with the plane, but I didn't really give it a second thought. We parted. He went to work and I went upstairs to my apartment and turned on the computer. At that point I wasn't so much of a television junkie. I rarely watched t.v. during the day. Television watching was my post-9/11 reality, for weeks afterwards as soon as I woke up I would check the news to see if I had missed anything, to see what other horrible atrocities were happening in the world.

Instead I checked my e-mail and began doing my homework when my friend logged onto AIM and told me to turn on the tv. A plane flew into the WTC. Yeah I heard. Sad. Now a Second plane collided. I thought she was kidding. Maybe the tower was giving them wrong directions, I thought. I realize now I lacked any knowledge of aviation but hijacking never occurred to me. Maybe because this was America and I lived, still at that point, inside the bubble that these kinds of things didn't happen here.

I turned on the television and listened to the reporters remaining calm, trying to do their job without causing a panic. Honestly, it was all a blur. I tried to page my husband, at least a million times. He worked at the UN and I was scared because planes were falling out of the sky. In the deepest parts of my brain I was imagining the UN with planes sticking out of the sides and I was terrified. Then the pentagon was hit. My mom called and asked if I had heard from my husband. I told her I was scared. He wasn't responding to his pages. I went to the windowsill in the kitchen and smoked the cigarette butts my mother had left. I had asthma but I didn't care. I needed something. I was eating myself alive inside. I prayed selfish prayers to bring my husband home. I tried to bargain with God. I beat myself up for arguing with him all the time. Why couldn't I just be nice?

When the towers fell, I was stunned. Waves of anxiety passed over me, rippling under my skin. It wasn't seeing the towers that affected me as much as hearing the reporter screaming. It was too much for her and she had to break, understandably, but her screams meant this was really happening. I was kneeling by the window in the kitchen, crying, searching for a butt with at least a puff left in it when I heard keys in the front door. My husband walked in and called for me and I ran into his arms like they did in the old movies when the men came home from war. Apparently his bus had come out of the tunnel in Manhattan just as the tower fell and the bus driver turned around immediately, without instruction, and headed back to Queens. Its a good thing he did too, or else my husband would have been amongst the thousands hoofing it over the bridge back into Queens.

The city was on lockdown. There was nowhere to go even if we wanted to run, and I did. I wanted to pack my cats up so bad and drive to Florida, fuck New York. I would have even gone to Idaho. There was military and police everywhere for weeks and seeing them made me feel like 'this is not over.' We were at war, but with who? The UN was never hit, but there were a few bomb threats and evacuations that were never publicized. My husband tried to explain to me that the UN would never have been a target but it never reached me. The whole city was a target and there are still times when I go over a bridge or in a tunnel that I get scared that there might be a truck with a bomb next to me. Somehow those wounds I think will never heal. They are still there, all scabby, waiting to bleed again.

I take the fear and pain I felt and I multiply it by 9 Billion. That is what the actual friends and family of the victims felt. Or the people on the planes that realized they were going to die and made final calls to their loved ones. if the president knew, if there was misconduct, then we have a right to impeach this man, to make him go before a court, to punish him. No one is expendable in this country. Apparently, there was misconduct. To what extent we don't know. But here is a good start at gathering information and making the Bush administration accountable for their actions.

An Interesting Day: Bush's Movements and Actions on 9/11